Of the three most important things to be eliminated before attaining God-Realization – greed, lust and backbiting – backbiting is the worst and most disastrous. One can overcome greed, and even lust, though both are very hard to get rid of; but by far the worst, and most difficult habit of all to eliminate, is that of speaking ill of and trying to find faults or flaws in others.
And why must it be eliminated? Because this particular act or vice incurs the burden of sins or sanskaras of others, which is spiritually very derogatory and reactionary.
If anyone speaks about another's shortcomings behind his back, even though what he says may be true, it is slander. –Meher Baba
Thus, the sanskaras of slandering are of two types — direct and indirect.
Suppose Mr. A says to Mr. B: "Mr. C has not come; he is a bad man." Mr. C is not present. Mr. A has told this directly to Mr. B. Consequently, there is an exchange of sanskaras in an indirect way between Mr. A and Mr. C, and in a direct way between Mr. A and Mr. B. Thereby, the minutest sanskaras are created and for millions of births it is difficult to be freed from. (Lord Meher, 1st. ed., Bhau Kalchuri, Vol. 7, p. 2359)
If anyone speaks about another's shortcomings behind his back, even though what he says may be true, it is slander.
Explaining slander to a devotee, Meher Baba cited the following couplet of Kabir
He who slanders Me is My friend, Because with his own soap, he cleanses Me of My dirt.
Baba emphasized, the first thing required is love. And the second is doing no backbite.
He added, Feel glad if anyone slanders you, and always be careful that you don't slander others.
It is good if you don't slander anyone. But generally, he who drinks liquor says: 'Do I get intoxicated? I am never drunk.
The same is the case with slanderers. A slanderer will slander, and if anyone were to draw his attention to it, he would reply, 'Who says I am slandering? I never slander.' "
Be natural! Do not change your nature of gaiety, but do not show displeasure or criticize others who are different in nature