FORGIVE AND FORGET
Forgiveness and forgetfulness both are divine qualities and God’s nature. This counter balances our bad sanskaras caused by not accepting the words or misdeeds of any other against oneself as result of anger or over non fulfillment of expected return caused by greed or attachment. Some time, depending upon the gravity, it becomes extremely difficult to forgive and rather one thinks to punish or take revenge on the opponent. To forgive is not easy but one must try to control his anger and forgive the opponent. Forgiveness is not sufficient but one should forget the event for all the time and never try to recollect or render impression the he has forgiven someone on such and such occasion. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but strength
Meher Baba said.
"Forgiveness consists in loosening the bindings of duality in maya, which makes you feel and find the One as many. Therefore 'I forgive you' amounts to the loosening of your bindings. "Although it takes a lot of time to build a big stack of hay, a single lighted match can burn all of it in no time at all.
Regardless of the accumulated dirt and refuse of sins, divine forgiveness burns them away in no time."
"I can forgive; I have come to forgive. Forgiveness is the highest thing for those who are forgiven. It is not a great thing to Me to forgive. In fact, in reality there is nothing to be forgiven, for there is really nothing like good and bad. You find them so, and they are there in duality, due to your own bindings in duality.
"In the bondage of duality there is good and there is bad, but in reality everything but God is zero. Maya, which causes you to mistake illusion for reality, is present for you but not for me. For me, only I am, and nothing else exists.* It therefore means nothing for me to forgive, and everything for you to be forgiven. (Listen Humanity-page-68)
People ask God for forgiveness. But since God is everything and everyone, who is there for Him to forgive? Forgiveness of the created was already there in His act of creation. But still people ask God's forgiveness, and He forgives them. But they, instead of forgetting that for which they asked forgiveness, forget that God has forgiven them, and, instead, remember the things they were forgiven — and so nourish the seed of wrong-doing, and it bears its fruit again. Again and again they plead for forgiveness, and again and again the Master says, I forgive.
But it is impossible for men to forget their wrong-doings and the wrongs done to them by others. And since they cannot forget, they find it hard to forgive. But forgiveness is the best charity. (It is easy to give the poor money and goods when one has plenty, but to forgive is hard; but it is the best thing if one can do it.)
When one has forgiven everyone and has completely forgotten himself, he finds that God has forgiven him everything, and he remembers who, in reality, he is. (Everything and the nothing-pp-109)
Here is a lifetime interesting episode which gives clear message that one should not only forgive but forget also.
Papa Jassawala had come to Jabalpur from Nagpur. Jal Kerawala also was there. On Sunday, January 1st, 1939, Jal played a joke on Papa, who found it to be in bad taste. Baba sent for Jal and Chanji, and asked the reason for the uproar. Jal replied, "Forgive me, Baba, I was only joking around."
Papa shouted, "Who has made him a magistrate? He has no sense! He should not be forgiven!"
Smiling, Baba spelled out, "I would not forgive Jal, but to forgive is My nature. If I don't forgive him, the world will collapse! Only by My forgiveness does the world continue, not otherwise!"
Papa said, "You should continue forgiving the world, but not Jal Kerawala! He has troubled me greatly!”
"All right," motioned Baba. "I won't forgive Jal, but you forgive him!" Jal asked Papa's forgiveness, and finally, after hours of fuming, he forgave him. Papa, however, said to Baba, "I have forgiven Jal because you requested it. But I tell you he is a devil!’
Baba explained to Papa, "This is not forgiveness! The meaning of forgiveness is to forget the insult. When you remember it, how could you have forgiven it? After forgiving, you should not remember the incident or hold anything against him.
"Today is New Year's, and you should make a resolution to forgive and forget. Only by forgetting can you truly forgive. Otherwise, what is the use of merely saying the words, 'I forgive you'? It must be from the heart."