30-GET MARRIED IF YOU ARE NOT CONFIDENT TO REMAIN BACHELOR
Lust is one of the biggest stumbling block in the spiritual path of the seekers. Impressions of Lust are also deep signified as red colour which is most difficult to wipe out. It finds expression with opposite sex and sanskaras of lust effect both the partner. It is lowest and distorted form of love. Unless it understood in real sense it is very difficult to get out of it. Nowadays lust is mistaken for love. The subtle difference is missed. There is a very subtle difference between love and lust. They are two things. Celibacy is referable and better than marriage to progress on spiritual path. In marriage also one can ogress long way on the path. There is no middle path between Celibacy and marriage. Sex outside marriage (expression of Lust is most disastrous for any one hence is advisable that one should marry if he is not confident to remain bachelor throught his life.
In Baba words
Lust is greatest obstacle of spiritual path
In the spiritual path, lust is the greatest obstacle. Even the thought of fornication should not enter the mind. That is why I tell you "Keep your langoti tight," which mean to have no lustful thoughts, do no lustful actions, and do not touch or even look at a woman. Lust is so forceful that even looking at a woman can start a man thinking about sex and thinking leads to action.
Compare the love between a child and his mother, the child plays in her arms and touches her without creating the least thought of lust. But the slightest touch between the father and mother may arouse lustful thoughts in them.
Sanskaras of sex is deep and worst red colour
There are seven colours of sanskaras. Red is the worst and the deepest. It is the most lasting impression, and takes the longest to be wiped out. These red sanskaras are caused by the sex act; hence they are a great check on the progress and advancement. The sex act is considered a grave sin on the Path, and prohibited to spiritual aspirants.
Thoughts of sexual desire may come, and even a rush of impulses, but one should not commit any action with another person. Even masturbation is better, though it is harmful to the physique. Sexual intercourse has the worst consequences. It attracts to oneself the worst sanskaras of ages past of one's partner, hence it is most difficult to wipe out. It incurs immense ineradicable damage to one's spiritual progress
Delusion of sex
Self has no sex, but when self treats itself as the body, the illusion of sex appears; and therefore, duality. The Self in each of us is sexless, but the self in a person thinks itself as a woman, and in another thinks itself as man. This is delusion. A very subtle difference. It all comes from thinking of ourselves as the body.
The soul is to the body as the bald man is to his wig. The bald man puts on his topi when he goes to work in the morning. When he comes home and goes to sleep at night, he takes it off. In conclusion, you must learn to use the body when you need it for work, and to free yourself when you no longer need it.
Solution of problem of sex
In order to solve the problem of sex, the minds first understand that both alternatives are equally creation of imagination working under influence of craving.
Foremost, you should try to get rid of lust, as all other vices are on account of it. For instance, if a parrot's throat is cut, it dies. But if its wings are clipped, it does not die, after some time the feathers of the wings grow back. Lust can be compared to the parrot's head. Therefore, when lust is still present and we conquer other evils, such as anger, the evils again revive; everything rises out of the head. But if lust is killed once and for all, every other evil is also destroyed; you have cut off its head.
There is no need to stop thoughts from coming. This is a very important thing. In no book it is mentioned. It is only for My lovers that I am pointing out today the secret of this spiritual darkness.
Lusty, good or bad thoughts should not be checked. Let them come, rather encourage them to come! Do not feel nervous or get despondent, but never allow them to express themselves in actions.
What happens then? To clean the slate of the mind these sanskaras should be spent in any way. If they are not spent in this birth they will have to be spent in the next birth. So they should be spent through thoughts only. If they are spent through physical actions, as we have said, new sanskaras are created. So they should only be spent mentally. When their force is spent, you are free.
Now why do these thoughts come? From where do they come? They are not borrowed, nor do they come from somewhere outside. They were deep within you. If they do not surface now, they will surge up some other time. So I repeat, don't worry, and if you follow Me hundred percent you will be free.
For the aspirant a life of strict celibacy is preferable to married life, if restraint comes to him easily without undue sense of self-repression.
Celibacy is good for progress in spiritual path who can control their sex emotion. Contact with Perfect Master helps one to gain that control, but as few very strong power to control themselves, marriage for most and women is advisable. Indeed it is much better to marry and devote your attention to one person than to remain bachelor, and like a bee pass from flower to flower in search of new experiences.
Celibacy is unimportant. Some men marry, others remain single; but a man is not more backward spiritually because he has married. A woman can inspire him by her love to know the Truth. But she must develop love and not lust. This is the key to happiness.
For the celibate as well as for the married person the path of inner life is the same
Every human relationship is based on love in one form or another and endures or dissolves as that love is eternal or temporal in character.
Marriage, for example, is a happy or unhappy, lasting or fleeting, according to the love which inspires and sustains it. Marriage based on sex attraction alone cannot endure. They lead inevitably to divorce or worse. Marriages, on other hand, which are based on a mutual desire to serve and inspire grow continually in richness and beauty, and are a benediction to all who know of them.
A woman can play an important part in the development of divine grace. She is man's equal. So long as she is true to herself, all will be well. But once she surrenders to her surroundings, the function of marriage fails. It is then you have divorces.
For ordinary persons, married life is undoubtedly advisable unless they have a special aptitude for celibacy.
From spiritual point of view, married life will be success only if it is thoroughly determined by the vision of truth. In fact, through intelligent handling of the marriage, a person may traverse so much of the spiritual path that it needs only a touch by the Master to raise him into the sanctuary of eternal life. Sex in marriage is entirely different from the sex outside marriage, in marriage the sanskaras of lust are much lighter and are capable of being removed more easily.
Marriage is a sacred bond of mutual trust, honour, and selfless responsive love. If it is inspired by lofty ideals marriage will serve as a pleasant gateway to the entry of the two souls to infinite kingdom of God.
Marriage does not interfere with man or woman loving God. Whether you stay single or you get married is of little importance. What is important is that you love and obey Me.
In lust, man has a tendency to fasten his lust upon several persons of the opposite sex. The ideal of brahmacharya (celibacy) does not allow even the touch of the person of opposite sex. Now if the Master, who is entirely free from lust, wants to help a strongly lustful person, He knows that the aspirant is incapable of brahmacharya. Therefore, He allows him to legally marry, but He asks him to limit his lust only to one woman. Then gradually, as lust diminishes, he may be asked to give up all acts of lust, even with his wedded wife, although he can maintain and continue the married life. In this manner, lust is gradually eliminated and the goal of brahmacharya is finally obtained.
In the beginning, the aspirant will, in relation to the partner, feel lust as well as love. But he can, with conscious and deliberate cooperation with the partner, gradually lessen the element of lust and increase the element of love, until love becomes utterly pure and free from lust. But in order to achieve this purpose, he must strictly limit himself to his partner in matters of sex.